Pessimistic again...
Thursday, August 31, 2006 0 comments

another period of time had passed, since . In the end, nth has been achieved. wat is becuming of me?? Nth feels rite anymore... wana take da risk and break away...
did a survery outta myself.. :
-- stupid. compared 2 even da most average ppl, i cant compete them... no interests to share, no events or topics to relate, disscuss, and share, im too inknowlegdable. It's still tt i have no initiative and work attitude towards things in life, toooooo lazy to even find my thing. HAIZ~~~~~
-- no positive attributes. find myself in nowhere, not progressing but degrading... have no confidence, self-esteem, common-sense, initiative, no nth.. haiz feel so fucked up rite now. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-- bad attributes. selfishness, shyness, every-bad-attribute-ness. nth much in me, so left out, so unnoticed... dont even noe how to get attention from ppl... wat else is dere in me??

Dont feel like doing anything, but if i dont, den oso canot live lidat. i seriously nid counselling... and to find my thing... come to think of it, i feel myself as a damn lousy useless melancholic outcast.



!Recovering~
Tuesday, August 01, 2006 0 comments

Yay... can cool down le. Morn went for PE, and so so cool cuz we dont have to run!!! Plus, tadae hooped in lots of 3-pts. so shiok!!! Then later gt drum performance, but i nt in. Instead, i nid go IC them.. so cool!! Nah, tt's da EZ part. Then after sch went for NE seminar. during the guest-of-honour speech, i dozed off, then almost fell of tt stupid chair!!!! LOL, stupid me. after this i went for dinner wif jasmine, olivia, plus rayner. poor rayner kena bullied by us!! Sry rayner. Hehe... tadae wasnt such a bad day after all, in fact it was quite cool, and boring. LOL

Guess not all daes r so bad after all. ytd was just tt some unfortunate events popped up in front of mi face. Just nid more time to cherish and love myself, and oso to build up confidence. Thx for all supporters behind me(in fact only 2, i think... pathetic rite? hence my webby ;] ), and hope more ppl will come... but wish tt wont criticise lar!! i noe some ppl would... LOL aiya canot b so paraniod, haha. Alrite, cya then!!!



Dying~
0 comments

Eva since i kena promoted, days of hapiness and delightfulness faded away... all seemed like nolstagia instead of my future... haiz...

Y m i behaving in this way? Y cant i b like others, alll like being 'somebody', while im like a 'nobody'. Everyone else had higher self-esteem than me, and has a wider circle of frens, but Y CANT I BE JUST LIKE THEM?! im just like a person wif deformed emotions and personality, cant do anythin rite, naturally emotionally scarred person for life... am i gona contd living on lidat?!!!! rite now im going mad wif '!!!' all around... !!!!!!!!!!!! Everytime i try to turn to some1, he/she is absent... wheneva i gt sth to present or tell sum1, their shadows remained instead of their body. Sia la.. concludes tt i have no pure frens at all... even if gt one, all good things must end, not say tt end totally, but tt kind of pure frenship wont last... cant blame them.. it's all my fault. WAT THE F**K CAN I DO??!!!!???!!

Now i pressured under CCA and more CCA. Eva since after promotion to top lead, many things changed. The sec4s keep telling dont stress, but nvr sae how. Die le la.. lidat will fail to lead de lo... looks like my future is collapsing rite in front of me... BOOOOMMMMM~~~~

Wat's my plan? I cant wait, but given my low self-esteem, i cant do anything oso... nid more motivation... everyday listen techno? PUI!!! Siao lar lidat... see? i have no idea... pls help, if nt i dont mind suiciding one day... arrr touchwood.




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!Gerard!
!15 yrs!
!Virgo!
!Short... aww T.T!
!Stressed!
!~HOT~: FRIENDS!

GOALS/VISIONS

1> GCE 'o' lvls L1R5 <10
2> Learn until electric guitar!!SOW!
3> UNITE CLASS 4J'07 & FORM NEW FAMILY!!
4> Stay happy =)
5> Get off depression.
6> Get back my ABS!! =)
7> Caring for others, esp frens, love ya all!!

Self-motivation

1> Nvr give up!! Or u'll b sorry!!
2> Stay strong, 'keep holding on'!!
3> Stay faithful; it produces patience.
4> PLANPLANPLAN!! Hahaha
5> James 1:2~3 -> 'Various trials, faith -> patience'
6> Philippians 3:13~14 -> 'Forget past, reaching forward to future.'
7> Be sensitive to others!!
8> Live with discipline, self-control, and a shepherd's heart.

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