Dying~
Tuesday, August 01, 2006 0 comments

Eva since i kena promoted, days of hapiness and delightfulness faded away... all seemed like nolstagia instead of my future... haiz...

Y m i behaving in this way? Y cant i b like others, alll like being 'somebody', while im like a 'nobody'. Everyone else had higher self-esteem than me, and has a wider circle of frens, but Y CANT I BE JUST LIKE THEM?! im just like a person wif deformed emotions and personality, cant do anythin rite, naturally emotionally scarred person for life... am i gona contd living on lidat?!!!! rite now im going mad wif '!!!' all around... !!!!!!!!!!!! Everytime i try to turn to some1, he/she is absent... wheneva i gt sth to present or tell sum1, their shadows remained instead of their body. Sia la.. concludes tt i have no pure frens at all... even if gt one, all good things must end, not say tt end totally, but tt kind of pure frenship wont last... cant blame them.. it's all my fault. WAT THE F**K CAN I DO??!!!!???!!

Now i pressured under CCA and more CCA. Eva since after promotion to top lead, many things changed. The sec4s keep telling dont stress, but nvr sae how. Die le la.. lidat will fail to lead de lo... looks like my future is collapsing rite in front of me... BOOOOMMMMM~~~~

Wat's my plan? I cant wait, but given my low self-esteem, i cant do anything oso... nid more motivation... everyday listen techno? PUI!!! Siao lar lidat... see? i have no idea... pls help, if nt i dont mind suiciding one day... arrr touchwood.




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!Gerard!
!15 yrs!
!Virgo!
!Short... aww T.T!
!Stressed!
!~HOT~: FRIENDS!

GOALS/VISIONS

1> GCE 'o' lvls L1R5 <10
2> Learn until electric guitar!!SOW!
3> UNITE CLASS 4J'07 & FORM NEW FAMILY!!
4> Stay happy =)
5> Get off depression.
6> Get back my ABS!! =)
7> Caring for others, esp frens, love ya all!!

Self-motivation

1> Nvr give up!! Or u'll b sorry!!
2> Stay strong, 'keep holding on'!!
3> Stay faithful; it produces patience.
4> PLANPLANPLAN!! Hahaha
5> James 1:2~3 -> 'Various trials, faith -> patience'
6> Philippians 3:13~14 -> 'Forget past, reaching forward to future.'
7> Be sensitive to others!!
8> Live with discipline, self-control, and a shepherd's heart.

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